Originally posted on greenfairydotcom

I adore Christmas. Every pound store tinsel-strewn, Oxford Street-heaving, tree chocolate bellyache moment of it. I adore it all.

However I am given to understand that there are some whose Aunty Pat threw themselves of the Clifton Suspension Bridge on Boxing Day 1986 or who simply haven't yet mastered the secret to Christmas enjoyment that is Doing What The Hell You Like And Not Feeling Guilty About It, and as such this time of year is filled with less than festive cheer. It is to those people that I present with Pride, Affection and a Hefty Chunk Of Company Time the official GFDC top fifteen suggestions for filling your stockings with comfort and joy.

1. Make eggnog.
2. Get drunk on eggnog.
3. Dance naked around your living room to Cliff Richard.
4. Try to imagine Cliff Richard and Una Stubbs doing it.
5. Throw up eggnog.
6. Toboggan down Parliament Hill on a bin liner. Snow optional.
7. Go carolling in your local shopping centre and sing the rude versions.
8. Buy porn with the proceeds.
9. Write 'poo' in the frost on the windscreens of every car in your street.
10. Buy some mistletoe and practise your glad eye.
11. Go wassailing.
12. Find out what wassailing actually means.
13. Attempt to get the flames on the Christmas pudding to reach three feet. Barbeque lighter fuel not allowed.
14. See how long the human body can survive on Twiglets alone.
15. Play strip Buckaroo.