20 January 2006
Originally posted on greenfairydotcom
Today I have: written no cards, wrapped no presents (bought no presents come to think of it), hoovered no flats, scrubbed no algae from the side of any fishtanks, made no beds, investigated no suspicious orange patches that mysteriously appeared on kitchen floor overnight, written not one word of any dissertation proposal, washed no dishes resulting in necessity of drinking tea from clean plant pot, found no clean knickers to wear and therefore got no dressed and pondered whether or not it is more slatternly to wear clothes with no underwear or stay in pyjamas all day and reached no conclusion.
Today I have: eaten a packet and half of chocolate caramel digestives and lay horizontally on the sofa watching that indescribably peculiar daytime Christmas programme with Eammon Holmes (nobody decent should know what I'm talking about here as it's on mid afternoon when all responsible, upstanding citizens should be hard at work) without understanding a word of it. I think the caramel in these biscuits gums up your brain. I can see it now, winding it's sticky way round my cerebral cortex and bunging up all the get off your arse you lazy cow transmitters. I can't believe there's never been a Watchdog to highlight the dangers. Actually, is Watchdog still going? Who does one write to about such things these says? Oh Gods, it's probably the Daily Mail. I can't be responsible for the inevitable resulting campaign to replace anti-social behaviour orders with their compulsory consumption. Vandalism and muggings might be reduced by 90% from sheer apathy but at what price? Eammon Holmes?