10 December 2006
On such times I do not think to miss you
your absence from that small room goes unnoticed;
my life, as yours, goes on without remark
and I do not fear for want of you.
The days I remember you were ever here
grow less frequent; no mark, no trace of when you once lay
waiting for me hushed and still in the dark.
Yet those moments I know you are gone -
in the night, and when I wake -
the loss of you burns doubly for this forgetfulness
and I have no means to ignore this lack;
the proper level of water in the toilet bowl
should really lie between six and eight inches.
I have measured it.
What did you do with the ruler, afterwards?
posted by Mr.D. | 12 December 2006I measured from the outside rather than the inside. That caused unavoidable variance in measurements as you will have noted but did save me from having to bleach over and possibly destroy the only ruler in my possession, the 'Don't Talk To Strangers' one I've had since I was eight.
posted by Jack | 12 December 2006Sadly, it's been too many months - possibly even a year or more - since I had cause to measure the level of water in the bottom of the toilet. It was always an inexact art in my case, anyway, because I was generally concentrate on copiously vomiting the contents of my inebriated stomach at the time. There were just those odd moments of lucidity where I would think, "Hmm, I wonder if there is enough water in the bottom of the toilet bowl". Or, "that new Harpic Gel really doesn't get under the rim as effectively as it should". And then pass out.
Happy days.
posted by An Unreliable Witness | 13 December 2006You drank it.
We understand.
posted by OE | 13 December 2006What is the toilet pan? It's not the water in the toilet bowl, is it? I would have imagined it's the water in the rectangular tank behind the toilet. Am I right?
posted by clarissa | 13 December 2006It is the bowl.
I do not know what could have moved me to such an Americanism.
I shall change it immediately.
posted by Jack | 13 December 2006Surely it's not a toilet, but a rest-room? A room where one, er, takes a rest. Or something.
*ducks*
posted by An Unreliable Witness | 13 December 2006If it must be anything other than a toilet then it is a powder room.
Where all manner of mysterious, powdery Lady Activities take place.
posted by Jack | 13 December 2006I thought powdery Lady Activities happened in a boudoir?
posted by andre | 13 December 2006I once knew a lady who said she'd been to the "powder room". Strange sort of powder that has to be sniffed off the top of the toilet lid.
posted by An Unreliable Witness | 13 December 2006Dammit, I knew something was wrong.
*must add more water.... must add more water*
posted by Lady Miss Marquise | 14 December 2006Andre: A Proper Lady goes about her powdery business before she sets foot into the boudoir. Or so I'm told.
Vaughan: I have no idea what you're talking about and anyone who says otherwise is a big fibber.
posted by Jack | 14 December 2006