7 February 2007
Jack, the eager yet orderly queue of the curious outside my door clamour, why do you never pick up your phone? Because, I explain with saintly patience and a beatific smile, people are sausage fingered misdialling halfwits.
Five messages left on my answerphone in the last fortnight that were not meant for me:*
"Donna! Get yerself over to the office straight away luv, the police wanna see ya."
"Iss me man, innit, issss me. Pick up man, innit, issss me. Me. Innit."
"Yeah so it's Mike, yeah, and I've got it but if you want to see it better get round here today, yeah, 'cause the boot's like starting to smell of pink. "
"Hello darling. Chicken or lamb? Lamb or chicken? Chicken or lamb? Love you baby. Love you. Love you."
Approximately a minute and a half of The Girl From Ipanema
*I assume. Not 100% sure about the last one.
"Iss me man, innit, issss me. Pick up man, innit, issss me. Me. Innit."
That was me.
Sorry.
posted by andre | 6 February 2007I admire your intrepid attempt to keep one step ahead of these vapid phone messages by publishing your post tomorrow rather than today, thereby avoiding any new voice mails which will remain yesterday's inconsequent news.
A wily move indeed.
posted by blatherskite | 6 February 2007*evil overlord snigger*
They were me! All me!
Bwahahahahahaah!
x
posted by JG | 7 February 2007And this is why you ended up with battered lamb and chips for dinner on saturday.
posted by D | 7 February 2007Bossy loves it: Movies for people with Attention Deficit Disorder.
posted by BOSSY | 7 February 2007And there I was thinking that I was the only one who got messages for taxis, meetings under railway bridges, deliveries that have gone awry three months in a row (for some strange reason), and weird drugged-up calls from your usual up-to-no-good badasses.
Must get a slightly less "Minicab!" phone number.
posted by Timbo | 7 February 2007I believe I can confidently assure you that none of them were me.
Well, not unless there was one featuring nothing but the sound of nervous silence, closing with a polite cough.
posted by An Unreliable Witness | 7 February 2007"stating to smell of pink."
Amazing... evolution in progress! The next generation will be able to smell colors!
posted by Goo | 8 February 2007Well, my phone number seems to have been published on a brochure from the national autistic society. Fun n games!
posted by Jess | 8 February 2007Even better than 'Overheard' :)
The boot smells like pink? The police want to see you?
Perhaps you should be concerned. Issit?
posted by Morgan | 9 February 2007Hi, and thanks in advance for your time.
I'm a Cardiff University student and am writing a study on citizen journalism and its impact on the journalism industry...
I'm hoping to distriubte a simple, email survey to 100 bloggers such as yourself and was wondering if you would be willing to participate? It would only need two to three minutes of your time
Drop me an email if you can spare me a moment, I look forward to hearing from you,
Many thanks again,
Kindest Regards
posted by Dan Bourke | 12 February 2007Dan
I think battered lamb would be quite nice, actually.
posted by Stuart | 16 February 2007