Liturgy

Tomorrow is Ash Wednesday. I know you're all as excited as I am.

Lent, as I am sure anyone who went to Sunday School and didn't spend all their time at the back of the church hall playing Transformers and discussing girls' front bottoms with Adam Jessop knows, is not merely the time set aside by God in order to wash up from Pancake Day but also a time when we remember Jesus and Lucifer's lads holiday in the desert and the temptations that occurred therein.1 The purpose of such time of refection is of course to enable one to ponder one's own indulgences and bad habits and give some of these up in order to make room for new and different sins.

Things I'm giving up for Lent this year:

  • Drawing Cavalier moustaches and perturbed facial expressions upon the breasts of women in men's magazines.
  • Leaving multiple comments a day on the Daily Mail website signed 'Nigel from Niddrie', all of which include the phrase 'fruity harbinger of woe'.2
  • Armwrestling for alcohol
  • ...or Jelly Tots
  • Sending documents to my boss with filthily acronymed filenames
  • Asking people I've just met whether they'd rather die by being smeared in jam and buried in an ant hill or by drowning in Michael Portillo

And you?

1Kind of like an early Burning Man, I think.
2 Seventeen published in January alone.

5 February 2008

Comments

I'm giving up telling post-menopausal English women to "look at the beautiful scenery" whenever I see baboons mating. I'm also giving up gum-flavoured tree bark, which gives me constipation.

Posted by Gorilla Bananas | 5 February 2008

I am going to give up:

Facebook;
Working;
Blogging;
Cynicism;
Obfuscation;
Lying.

Though I might be lying about the lying.

Posted by An Unreliable Witness | 5 February 2008

nothing about the new & different sins you are about to take up?

tease.

Posted by jam | 5 February 2008

I'm going to give up:
Shopping at Primark.
Wearing thongs - they're uncomfortable & don't keep my arse warm at all.
Being too lazy to go food shopping, resulting in the desperate episode that involves shoving bits of other people's bread in my mouth hastily splashed with french mustard or pesto.
& Putting random objects in my mouth.

Posted by Peacox | 5 February 2008

I'm going to give up:

Facebook spanking/poking

wearing fashionable velvet jackets in American blizzards

and horseradish

Posted by andre | 5 February 2008

I think I might be on a "On no account publish comments by this idiot" list on the Daily Mail website.

Even my fawning approval of Richard Littlejohn's column doesn't get published these days.

Posted by Scaryduck | 12 February 2008

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