AND NOW THE SUPPING FORECAST ISSUED BY THE MET OFFICE ON BEHALF OF THE MARITIME AND COASTGUARD AGENCY, AT 0505 ON THURSDAY 17 MAY 2007.

THE GENERAL SYNOPSIS AT 1300
HIGH SPIRITS 1000 EXPECTED SOUTH OXFORD STREET 1800 BY 1900 TOMORROW. DEVELOPING POSSE EXPECTED 0.5 MILES WEST OF SOHO BY SAME TIME. NEW HIGH EXPECTED PISSED 1915 BY THAT TIME. LOW REMEMBRANCE 1000 SATURDAY LOSING ITS IDENTITY

THE AREA FORECASTS FOR THE NEXT 24 HOURS:

WINE DOGGER
BEST OR NEARBEST BOTTLES 2 TO 3, DECREASING 1 OR 2 LATER. RED OR WHITE. OCCASIONAL SPILLAGE. MAINLY GOOD, DRIVEL LATER.

PLYMOUTH GIN
VARIABLE 3 OR 4 SHOTS, INCREASING 5 TO 7 IN WEST END LATER. SLIGHT OR MODERATE. OCCASIONAL BLANK PATCHES. MODERATE OR GOOD.

HEBRIDES BAILEYS
EAGERLY 4 OR 5 VEERING EVERYWHERE 5 TO 7. SLIGHT OR MODERATE NAUSEA INCREASING MODERATE OR ROUGH. SINGING AT TIMES. MODERATE OR GOOD.

IRISH WHISKEY
TIPSY BECOMING CYCLONIC, 4 OR 6 GLASSES RAPIDLY BECOMING UNSTEADY IN ALL DIRECTIONS FOR A TIME. MODERATE OR ROUGH. OCCASIONAL PAIN OR DRIBBLE. POOR TO MODERATE.

MALIBU
IMMODERATE 6 OR 7 BECOMING LEERING. REGRET BACKING MODERATE TO GOOD. POSSIBLY GALE 8 IN MCDONALDS LATER. POOR TO VERY POOR.